Thank you PowerFlowerWebDesign for generously donated Oliviasdream.com

Wow it has been awhile hasn't it? I was waiting to send an update until Olivia had her MRI. Last week we went to Toronto for her MRI. I wish I could say it was all great, but no it wasn't. There is two parts to the tumor, one part is solid, it is shrinking very well, in fact it is very small now. The second part is soft fluid filled cyst. The cyst now is very big, getting close to the size the tumor was when first found. Now come deciding what to do! Olivia is doing very well, she although weak on the left side is not showing new signs of neurological problems. If they decide to operate now then we will be worrying about the risks associated with surgery again. So here she is doing wonderful and she is happy. Do I let them operate and risk how well she is, or do we leave it alone and wait to see if it grows more, or if it will shrink (cysts do go up and down in size). I thankfully do not have to make the decision, tomorrow the doctors are going to look at her MRI and the neurosurgeons will give thier opinion. In one hand I feel great because the chemo is working, and on the other hand I am scared to death.

In addition I want to tell you all something very exciting. During the last two years I have learned so much, and to be honest shocked by a lot of what I have learned. Many times I have written on Olivia's site about things I have learned. I believe strongly that you have no right to complain about things unless you are willing to try and change it. I have for a long time now struggled to think of a way of helping other families through a serious illness or disability, I had wanted to keep Olivia's dream and turn it into a foundation to help other families, but quite frankly our family is still in need of financial help and I wanted to do something now. So I have started the Association for Medically Fragile Children. I am in the beginning stages and currently putting together a business plan for a non profit organization. When it is ready to go it will help families by bringing to them the information they need to access government and private programs and services that will assist them financially, emotionally etc. If you know of a family that has a child with a life threatening illness or disability please pass on this email address it is www.amfchildren@porchlight.ca I would love to know what other families needs are.

Thank you again everyone I will keep you updated.

This week has been very very hard on me. I am wondering if there will ever be a time in my life that I won't have to worry about her. I wish so badly that I could push all the bad things out of my head. Think positively. I read the book the secret, it says that you should only focus on positive things and that is what you will attract. Part of me believes that, but another part of me is terrified to let down my guard for even a second.

I am trying to remember when life stopped for us. When did the normal everyday things that most people in their life have stop for us, was it when she first got sick when she was only six weeks old, or was it when she first was admitted to hospital or when we heard those awful words "Brain Tumour" I do remember when doctors told me that Olivia had a brain tumour, that night I lay in bed and over and over again like someone was screaming at me "brain tumour, brain tumour" I couldn't stop it. How could two little words have such an impact on your life. How do you go from being Kim to being the lady with the little girl fighting cancer. My precious baby! I want to take all her pain away. Each night she gets pain meds and I wonder if it will always be this way for her, or will there come a time in her life when cancer will not be the focus of it.

Olivia is old enough to start school this year, we won't send her this year of perhaps not next year, only time will tell.

Have you ever wanted to do something and you just don't know how? I want to start a foundation that will provide someone to visit a family when a child has been diagnosed with a serious disability or life threatening illness, someone to sit down with parents and say, "here are the different programs available to your family, programs so you will not lose your home, so you will not have to ask family and friends for hand outs" Someone that knows first hand the pain that is a part of being a parent under these conditions, someone who has first hand knowledge of spending nights awake crying for your child. The problem is I don't know where to start, and I want to be able to sit with parents knew to this "life" and give them options that are not available now. I want to make the members of our government to stop what they are doing and look at what life must be like for families such as ours. I know I was one of those moms that believed that bad things didn't happen to my children, these people who run our country and our province need to realize that their position of power will not protect them from the pain that so may mom's and dad's experience every day. Sure they may be in a better position financially but not emotionally.

I am going to come down from my soap box for now, but I will be back up there. when I have more energy.
Thank you everyone for all that you do for us. How do I thank everyone.

The Lions clubs
My neighbours
My family
The Optomist Club
Enterprise Car Rental
Delta chelsey hotel
so many more people that I do not know how to list them all.

Anyone interested in coming to this years Bowl a thon it is on Mothers day May 11th at East Town Arcade and bowling. Pledge forms are available by sending an email to olivia@cherub.ca or calling 519-461-9204

For any mom reading this who has a child with a serious illness, or serious disability I want you to know that any way you deal with it is OK. Scream, cry, laugh I have done them all, don't be afraid to smile or enjoy a day. It's OK to show your child that through their illness there can be good days, happy days.

About 3 nights a week, at 11 pm a nurse shows up at our home, all of our nurses are great, they spend time reading stories to both girls and the odd game. Olivia does not do well going to sleep and waking up in the night finding a nurse there, so bed time here is usually midnight. At 11pm Olivia is given all her meds, one for seizures/neurological pain, a pain med and the some nights a medication to help with the nausea that is sometimes present after chemo (thankfully not to often). Olivia gets anxious without Sam or I lying with her when she goes to sleep, I can understand with everything that she has been through. When she gets into bed she is connected to a machine that feeds her through a tube in her stomach, she sleep with a monitor that has an alarm if she were to stop breathing. I lay in bed some nights anxious, and jumpy, because she had an off day and I am scared that tonight will be the night that I hear that alarm go off. Most night Olivia wakes in the middle of the night in pain. Like most moms I want to make everything better for my baby, but find my self unable to help when she is beside her self in bad pain. I hold her in my arms swaying back and forth until the pain medication kicks in. I always find going back to bed difficult. This is the time of night that I find my self thinking about the what if;s. I read the Secret, so I refuse to put into words what I mean by what if;s but I am sure you can imagine what our worse fear is having a child with cancer. I am usually joined in bed by now with Holland as she has been woken up as well, she finds the middle of the night difficult, often asking me if Olivia is going to be OK, then on some nights when she finds me in tears it is her telling me that Olivia will be OK, tough job for a six year old. Daddy sleeps down stairs on nights where there is a nurse so he can get up with the kids in the morning.

We love the mornings, Olivia usually wakes with a big smile on her face, although she eats only small amounts she loves chocolate and it is often her first request in the morning, do you know how hard it is to say no to a child with special needs?

The nurse leaves at 7am and due to such late bed times the girls don't usually wake until after 10am. Starting at 10am every hour on the hour we inject special food into Olivia's tube in her tummy, we do this so she won't have to spend her days attached to a feeding machine, this would mean her not being able to run around and play. 3 times a day she receives all her meds, she loves to colour and she loves to watch cartoons, we try hard to keep our house hold bills as low as possible so we have an assortment of DVDs from friends and family and Dave who reads her updates and decided to send us some (thank you again).

Because Olivia's tumour effected her left side she experiences left sided neurological pain, this had gotten much better with chemo, however in the past few days we are seeing a big increase in her left side pain. We start to wonder if this "break" from chemo was such a great idea, last night Olivia was crying that her left eye hurt. (Neurological pain) Suddenly I realized that even when doctors tell us that Olivia is cancer free we will spend the rest of our lives watching for any signs that may indicate that the monster in her life is back.

The doctors have decided to see what Olivia's tumour will do with three months no chemo. So although she is on a break now usually every Monday we head to Toronto or Kitchener . Pick up a rental car and head to Toronto or Kitchener . In Toronto we check into the hotel, we then walk to Sick Kids ( A block away from the Delta Chelsey Hotel)I have realized lately that my stomach is in a knot from the time I open my eyes on Monday mornings until bed time. When we get to the hospital we head to the "finger Poke Lady" it is here that they will poke her finger for a sample of her blood. She is so brave and very rarely cries, I had gestational diabetes I know that the finger pokes are not horrible, but not fun either. Now for play time, she spends the next three hours playing with other children with brain tumours, all undergoing chemo therapy weekly like her. When her counts come back the doctor looks them over, if her poly's are good they give the OK for chemo. If they are to low then she will have to wait until the following week, Low Poly's mean that her immunity is low, giving chemo would make it very unsafe. About an hour after the doctor gives the OK, the chemo arrives. I spoke earlier about the natural instinct to protect your child, so when someone dressed in protective clothing, and special face mask to prevent them coming into contact with the chemical in the syringes that they are going to inject into your little girl. I have to admit this stage is often met with resistance. Twenty minutes before chemo they put Maxillene on her port ( a device surgically placed under the skin., this saves the veins from repeatedly accessing them. The Maxillene (sp) is wiped off, the nurse drapes Olivia's chest and a very large needle is poked pushed into the port I give the nurse credit, having to deal with a screaming three year old and on occasion a crying mom, ( I try hard not to let Olivia witness my breakdowns) after her port is flushed, chemo added, flushed and Heparin put in to prevent blood clots we are ready to go. Parking at sick kids is 25.00$ a day 11.00$ for chemo patients. This is a very long day for Olivia if we are in Toronto we stay over night. We prefer to go to Kitchener as staying only one day and night in Toronto cost over $300.00, if we are there for an appointment and MRI the cost will be well over 600.00$. The majority of our families stress is how to pay the bills associated with Olivia's treatment. Which in 2006/07 was 14000.00$ and that did not include the normal bills of having a home, utilities etc.

I have written before how little the government helps and encourage everyone to call your MP and complain. We finally head for home and spend 5 days at home and do it all again.

What I am about to say will sound very odd, but bare with me. I definitely wish that Olivia's life was not in danger, I do not want to know what it is like to not have her in our lives. I love her more then life itself and I will never be able to explain why any child should have to suffer like she does. I am however grateful for the experience! We get to look at our children and realize that we are lucky to have them in our lives. We get to cherish each and every day we have with them. I can use my experiences to fight for other parents who do not know yet that this is going to be their lives in the future. I want to do what ever it takes to make the lives of parents trying to save their children's lives easier. Canada is a great country but when it comes to our health care system we are failing miserably, often I am told "be happy you are not in the US" I am happy I am not in the US, but I am in Canada where Universal Health Care is supposed to be in affect, it is not. Most of you will remember how Olivia came into the media spotlight when she was first diagnosed and needing surgery, there was not any OR time because of cutbacks!, parents forced to sell their homes to pay for the costs associated with travel to another city for care not available in their community. Often people say to me, how are you going to find the time to take on this fight, I just will, see I was like most mom's, I always figured cancer was something that you heard children got, but not my children! bad things are what happen to other families not mine. Boy was I wrong. So in order to protect the moms and dads out there that in the backs of their minds don't think something like this will happen to them, I am going to step up and do what ever I can do to change things.

Olivia was diagnosed with a severe disability two years ago, since then no one has sat down with our family to say here are the different programs that are offered by the Provincial and Federal governments, here is how you apply, let me help you. Instead you are left out in the cold to figure it out all on your own, this too has to change.

I have ranted enough. Thank you for your on going support, your prayers are one of the reasons we are still fighting, please continue to pray and support our family, without you we could not do it.

The Vander Schelde Family

Please email me your questions, or if you are wanting to help fight this there is strength in numbers.

We are heading to Walt Disney World June 2 for 8 days with the Make a wish foundation. That is going to be so much fun for them. I will post pictures for sure.

For now, take care, Kim

Hi everyone, I wanted everyone to know that I now have a little brother. Mommy had him on November 30 he weighs 7lbs 14 ounces and his name is Samuel Hunter. He sure is cute,. He had some trouble when he was born breathing, but he is doing much better and the doctors say that him and mommy can come home this week. Here is a picture of him, Mom will post a better picture when she gets home. This was when he needed help breathing, but now he is doing very well. Santa is comming soon so we will have to get him his own stocking. I hope santa visits everyones house. My sister and I are lucky we got a baby brother for Christmas.

November 2007
Hello Everyone:
Great News Olivia is Three years old as of Nov 08/07. She is very much like any other 3 year old. The good the bad and the ugly. lol. She had a great birthday, she loves the doll house that she recieved and plays with it all the time.

Oct 29 we headed to Toronto for her check up and to wait to see if we could get her three month MRI. We only had to wait until Oct 30 when they called with a cancelation. She had the MRI did not come around as well as other months. Very upset and very tired. We were hoping to head home, but then had to have a tube check. (G-J) everything is fine with her feeding tube. We were all packed ready to head home for a night of Trick or Treating and she came down with a fever. So a few more days in Toronto . Amazing what has to take place because of a fever. Another virus. I guess these things are going to happen. I felt really bad for the girls they were so excited about Trick or Treating and they missed out. So now they have missed out on Christmas last year and now Halloween. Not to mention all the birthday parties etc. But we have her. That is all that matters right now.

We rent a home out in the country. the house sits on many acres. Because of this there is alot of wild life. We were very lucky to find that the woods behind the house was home to a family of deer. Olivia and Holland had a great time walking out to the woods with thier dad to see the deer. The first thing they did in the morning was to watch for the deer. Unfortunately due to iresponsible hunters that can not read "No Trespassing Signs" it is something else the girls have lost. They however think that the deer have moved on in search of food.

I am sure our neighbours think we are crazy we have our christmas decorations up. We want to make up for last year. We are determined to make this Christmas spectacular for them. We are not going anywhere just hanging out having fun, baking and watching old Christmas shows (Thanks David).

Some very exciting news. On Olivia's birthday we recieved a call from Make A Wish telling us that Olivia had been aproved for a wish. So if all goes well she will find her self on a Disney boat with us tagging along. She is very excited. We don't know much about how it all works with Make A wish, but we are going to be visited by a wish coordinator. Sounds like a great job doesn't it?

Three more weeks and Olivia will have a baby brother or sister. I am very scared. We were all done adding to the family, so this is a shock to everyone. I am not sure how we will care for three children dealing with what we are, but there must be a reason why? Ok aside from the obvious. I do feel like a teenager who should have known better. Olivia sits on my lap feeling the baby kick inside. She is sure that she too has two babies in her tummy. I wonder what she will think when her brother or sister arrives, but hers are still in there. She tells us all the time that she is going to look after the baby! I am sure after the first few nights that will ware off. I am having a c -section so I won't be home with Olivia and Holland for a few nights, I am nervous leaving them, but Sam is a wonderful daddy, and allready does so much around here. He takes Olivia for chemo every week, as I am not going far from home these days. I hope he knows how much I love him and appreciate all that he does as a father and as a husband.

I want to say thank you to the Lions Club of Thorndale for thier generous donation to our family. Spending so many days in Toronto was expensive, they helped take some of the sting away. Thank you so much.

We have set a date for the Gala "Olivia's Valentines Gala and Comedy Show" it will be on Feb 16/08 at Brookside Community Centre. We are so lucky to have 3 comedians comming from Yuck Yuck's on Tour. A silent auction, A live Cake Auction and dance. Tickets are $70.00

I think most know that Olivia will continue to have Chemo once a week for at least the next year. Without fundraisers and the generosity of all of you we would not be able to do it. So thank you. I feel really good about the Gala. We are able to offer so much for the price of the ticket. It is going to be so much fun. We have 250 tickets I hope that you will join my family on Feb 16. If you are interested in tickets please email: oliviasdreamteam@yahoo.ca and someone will be in touch. If you know of any businesses that may be interested in donating items for the silent auction it would be very much appreciated if you could email your ideas to the same email.

In May of 2006 when Olivia was heading into surgery I was so scared that I would never see her again. I can not explain the fear that we had. So much peace came from knowing that so many people, most that we did not know where praying for our little girls. For her to make it through surgery so well and with such little complications recovering leaves me to believe that although she had an amazing surgeon, she also had a huge network of people who cared. I believe in my heart that she has come this far because complete strangers love her. She is doing so well and her last MRI proves that. I have wracked my brain trying to think of a way that people could express thier belief in her recovery. I visited Mr. Huxley at Huxley jewellery and asked him if he could design a bravery bead (Olivia's very own Bravery Bead) For those who don't know each time a child fighting cancer recieves chemo, blood work, tests or anything associated with thier fight to live they are given plastic beads from the Bravery Bead program. Kids all over Canada I believe are offered these beads. Olivia can be totally overwhelmed from the pain or fear of a test, and thru her sobs she will repeat over and over, "I get a bead now" As sad as it is, she has over 500 beads. So thanks to Mr Huxley there is a new bead "olivia's bead. Mr Huxley is presently making myself one or two beads from old gold I had. Most woman have old chains, rings, ear rings missing one. etc. He is using this gold to make the new Beads. Anyone who wants a bead is welcome to contact me and we can make arrangements to have one made for you or a loved one. This project is simply for showing support for Olivia. The cost to make the bead. I believe he said will be around $20.00 if you supply the gold. I am not sure how much if you need new gold. I am hoping that perhaps anyone with odd pieces of gold lying around that have no use for it, may consider donating it to Olivia, so that those wanting beads can do so without having to purchase new gold. Perhaps if you are wanting a bead made you could donate the left over gold to the next person who would like one. I hope this makes sense. I am so excited about this project and hope you are to.

If you have questions I will find the answers and get back to you. Simply email us at oliviasdreamteam@yahoo.ca

September 2007

Well it has been just almost a year since Olivia started on the long road of chemo therapy. A year ago I was filled with so many fears. I had seen first hand what the side effects of chemo can be like. I couldn’t bare the thought of her going through all that. Right now as I write this Olivia is dancing to the Marine Land song. This is a sight that I thought we would never see. Olivia has overcome so much over the past year. Learning to walk again, how to talk and really how to be a little girl. Each time Olivia is faced with a challenge she comes thru it. Last December was a rough month for her, coming down with several different viruses, being given a large overdose of Morphine several feeding tube changes. She is so strong. We as a family have become so strong. Thanks to so many wonderful people. I am in complete aw at the warmth of so many people, not a day goes by that someone does not email or call to say we are praying for your family or just to ask how we are all doing. I think for me the biggest eye opener was Olivia’s bowl-A-Thon, I envisioned a few friends and family coming to show their support. Instead the whole bowling alley was full, line ups of people that had collected pledges it was so amazing. How do you thank so many people? This has been hard for me, I constantly feel like I haven’t shown my appreciation enough. I don’t know how you properly thank people for helping save your daughters life, and for restoring faith in humanity. I try my hardest to pretend that we are just an ordinary family, but it is hard, hard not to worry about the future. We have met so many families much like ours and it makes you realize that even when you are going thru something like this you still have to be grateful for what you have. Does that make sense?

I had a dream a few weeks ago, we had a fair in our back yard with ponies, and rides, (obviously the size of my back yard was a little bigger in my dream lol) and everyone was there, even people that we had never met, everyone had come to congratulate Olivia on being over this part of her life. Some day we are going to do just that. Have a big day of just smiles and giggles a day that will mark the first day of the rest of Olivia’s life, a life full of happiness, the beginning of her being what ever she wants.

Lately Olivia has had a rough go with a couple of viruses that sent her to the hospital on a few occasions, it still amazes me that a little tickly in the back of a healthy persons throat could mean a week in the hospital to her. We struggle on weather to send Holland Olivia’s wonderful big sister to school this year. That first year of school is full of lots of illnesses while you adjust to being around so many children. I am terrified as to what that may mean for Olivia. I guess we are going to have to decide soon, because as hard as it is to believe summer is almost over.

Olivia now asks (when I go for my chemo?) Don’t be sad, she wants to know because she loves the staff at Grand River hospital and Sick Kids, and she spends the day with other children going thru chemo just like her. When Olivia meets someone know she says (Want to see my pretty port?) this is a device under the skin of her chest where she receives her chemo. This is all life to her, she does not remember any different anymore. Sure it is sad that any child would have to consider Chemo therapy as part of their life, but here it is, and for at least another year possibly much longer.

Another big part of Olivia’s life is the VON nurses that stay with Olivia at night, while her dad and I sleep. They are there to give her meds, watch her as she is attached to a feeding tube at night and they are all very important to our whole family. Our five year old does not truly understand all that Olivia goes thru. She is starting to see that Olivia is treated differently, so when the nurses come in at night Holland is treated the same, Most of Olivia’s needs are met while they are sleeping so to both of them, the nurses are there for both of them.

I want to send a big huge hug to HUG A BUG! They constantly send things to the girls, and to just Holland at times. They check the mail box daily for any word from hug a bug. I have never been able to speak with any of the girls in this group that seems to extend to other parts of the world and locally. So thank you, for bringing smiles to the girls and to Sam and I.

As I have mentioned in past postings, We are adding to our family Dec 07 is the day the baby will be born. At first I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to care for a new baby with everything that was going on in our life, but I have adjusted and see what a gift we have been given. Ok at times I do still feel like a teenager who should have known better lol. Both girls are eager to be big sisters and change diapers, that will change I am sure. As we thought that our baby days were behind us we have had to collect baby things again, Olivia has enjoyed this greatly, and now constantly brings things to us saying ( Awwww its so cute).

Finally I wanted to let everyone know that we have had to change the London’s Got Talent Fundraiser because a local radio station is using the name, so we have instead decided on a Valentines Gala, with a comedy show, silent auction and Dance. I will list all the details this week in hopes that people will be interested in coming, Our hopes are to bring Olivia to this function even if just for a little while. If anyone is interested in helping with the event please email us, we would love the help.

Well until next time thank you, and enjoy the new pictures.

The Vander Schelde’s

Hello everyone, wow it has been awhile since I updated this. Life has been crazy that is for sure. No news is good news Right?. Olivia is doing very good. She is having some problems related to weekly chemo therapy. Mouth sores, rashes. She is such a trooper. I know what it is like to have one cancer sore in my mouth, I can not imagine what she is going thru with a mouth full. She is due for another MRI in July. A dad with a daughter fighting a brain tumor told me in the beginning that I would come to dread the MRI's he was right. The unknown is very hard on you.

Franklin Sandblasting in Woodstock donated a play gym for the back yard, Olivia does not go to the public parks because of germs, so now she has her own right in the back yard. Thank you very much to the Franklins .

Hard to believe that it has been a year. I remember a year ago wondering how we were every going to do it. Emotionally and financially. Can't say that it has been easy but time does heal, we have developed ways of dealing with Olivia's condition we focus on the positive and try our hardest not to think about the bad. We have another 18 months of chemo, which sounds like a long time but we have been doing it for almost a year now. We have the easy part.

I want to thank everyone who has helped us out financially over the past year by visiting Libro financial. I am 100% serious when I say that if it was not for your help, I don't know what we would do. I was not sure weather to give this much information, but someone mentioned that it might be good for people to know just how much they are helping. From August until December we had 11 000.00$ in expenses related to Olivia's condition. So from the bottom of our hearts thank you.

We hope that everyone's families are well, and that you all have a great, safe summer.

We are looking for Volunteers to help arrange a Valentines Gala to help the Vander Schelde's with thier on going expenses. We are hoping to arrange a London's got talent show, we need volunteers to help with things such as Auditions, ideas etc. If you have some time to donate Starting in September please send an email to olivia@cherub.ca

Thank you
Olivia's Dream Team

Until next week. Kim

Mom and Dad

I wanted to let you all know that the doctors did not tell us anything new on Thursday., they did say that if they need to they can re operate and cut the cyst open, but if they were to do that, the risks were high that Olivia may not have quality of life as a result, so the longer she can go before surgery the better. If they can finish the next 10 months of chemo without her neeeding surgery the better her chances of getting thru surgery ok. I did want to tell you that she is walking much better, and is very happy these days. I just love her laugh. Right from the belly, it is music to my ears. She really is a brave little girl she does not cry when she goes to the hospital, she does cry when she is taken to the room where they put the needle in but after it is done she is ok, Today she started her long chemo, for the next three sessions she will have to spend most of the day getting her chemo thru IV, this chemo does not agree with her as well as the other. So we are always glad to see the long chemo over. I wanted to say hi to Ezekial (sorry I know I am spelling that wrong) This is a little boy who we met a couple of days after Olivia was diagnosed, I saw his mom in the hall in a state much like I had been in a couple of days earlier. Her little guy had cancer. He has been thru so much. I heard that he is officially cancer free now. I am so happy for him and for his mom and dad, What dedicated parents. Congratulations guys. Have fun little guy! I will keep you all updated on Olivia as we hear things.

Hello friends
I wish I had better news, as you know Olivia had her MRI today, I wish I could say it has shrunk alot............. This is what we were told. There are two parts to the tumour, a cystic part, (liquid) and a solid part. They say the solid part has shrunk a small amount, however the liquid part has grown. Because of the area that it is in solid or liquid neither are good. I wondered why they could not just drain it, however entering that area is very risky and it would most likely just refill, Thier words where this is good and bad, so they are going to continue with Chemo the way it is, ( the doctor told me that chemo will not help the cyst part) and if she starts to show signs of getting worse then we will have to go to plan B, this means more risky surgery. I am hoping that they are still praying for the tumour to shrink away from the cords so they could re operate, we see the doctors again this Thursday. I wanted to post this as I know many of you are waiting for news. Until Thursday.
Kim

We wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Olivia is having a rough Christmas, On Christmas Eve she was admitted to Childrens Hospital in London . It was very scary do to what the doctors are saying is Pneumonia she had trouble with her oxygen saturations and after scarying everyone from us to the Paramedics and doctors she quickly came to and told everyone just what she thought of them poking and proding at her. It looked like she woke up and said "Hello I was having a nap". We are sad that she won't be home for Santa, at least she is here. As soon as they can make arrangements she will be transferred to Toronto . They have started her on Antibiotics, Olivia has been having trouble with circulation in her left side, so we are hoping they won't delay now and do some more testing to see how they can correct the problem.We will keep you updated as much as we can. Have a good Christmas and please include Olivia in your prayers.
I will keep you updated.

Merry Christmas everyone, Olivia had an exciting day on Dec 18 she spend the day with Darcy Tucker from the Toronto Maple Leafs, Thanks to the Pediatric Oncology Group of Ontario . Olivia along with many other children battling cancer were invited to the Tucker Family Skate. Darcy Tucker and his family were so nice. Not once did I feel that they were doing this for any reason other then to put some smiles on the faces of kids dealing with such a monster in thier life. Now when you say to Olivia did you skat with Darcy Tucker she is quick to say YES! and a big smile along with it. His wife was so caring. I wish I had the time to send everyone personal thank you's for all your best wishes, however time does not allow. I do want to mention that with out the help of Enterprise Car Rental I don't think we could do this. On a recent trip in our vehicle we spent many hours on the side of the QEW waiting for a tow truck. So we now rely on Enterprise alot. Thank you for your ongoing help. As well I want to say thank you to Parkwood Hospital for all the treats and things they sent to the girls, I know when they get home from Toronto they will enjoy opening them, I wish I could have been there to say thank you. Thank you to each and everyone of you for your cards of strength, this is exactly what they are, cards of strength.

On another note, Olivia was fitted for a few braces that will help her with her walking and help strenghthen her left arm. The minute Olivia put on her brace for her hand she started using her left hand more, this is very nice to see.

We will be in Toronto for Christmas this will be hard on us, but as long as we are together it will be OK. Olivia has been doing this now for five months, we have passed the year left mark and are now down to 11 more months of this. Olivia is having an MRI in January, I ask that everyone pray for her, we will be holding our breath that chemo is working and the tumour continues to shrink.

Everyone have a safe and Happy Christmas.

December 11, 2006
Well I hope everyone is ready for Christmas. Olivia is very aware that Santa brings toys. Although Olivia is happy, she has had a very trying week. After two trips by ambulance to Toronto Sick kids she is on the mend. Last week a very high fever sent us to emergency, there doctors noticed a heart Murmur that she did not have before. She had an exciting trip to Toronto where after a few hours they released us. Aparently not aware that London Hospital had given her Tylenol, so since she did not have a fever the doctors in London could not detect a murmur. By the time we arrived back at home the fever had returned, Olivia spent three days at Childrens hospital in London and was transfered to Toronto Sick Kids were she still is. She has been having trouble with her left side, her arm and now her left eye. She has been eating a little more then usual which is nice to see. We will have to spend Christmas in Toronto for chemo, we have recieved a very nice note from Santa assuring the girls that he will find them where ever they are. Thanks everyone for including our family in your prayers durring the holidays. You will all be in ours.

On Sat morning Olivia's Aunt Dale passed away after a very long battle with cancer. We will miss her more then words can say. She was a big part of my life someone that I looked to for advice and for comfort. She helped me with everything from getting ready for my first date with a boy, to helping me come to terms with the death of my first husband and although she was fighting her own battle with cancer she was a constant source of support for me with olivia's fight. You will be greatly missed!

Sam and I appreciate all the support and prayers for our family, This is a tough time in our lives, unfortunately we are not alone, many mom's and dad's know exactly what it is like to cherish the memories of each and every holiday that you have with your children, People have sent us emails asking if there is anything they can do to help us over the christmas season. What we would like is for each one of you that read this to take the time right now to hug your babies, no matter how old, hang on to them and cherish what you have. Take this time of year to create memories for your children that will last a life time. From our family to yours Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy New Year!

This has been a rough week for Olivia. The effects of chemo are starting to set in. Initially we were expecting the worse as far as side effects, however when she seemed to be handling it so well we thought that perhaps she had ecscaped the nasties. Well she missed Halloween because she was not feeling well and was very tired. Since the last chemo she has been tired, and just not feeling well.

I think I have mentioned before that I am very disapointed in our health care system in Ontario, the nursing shortages, Cut backs that are causing children like Olivia not to get surgery in time to save thier lives. It drives me insane that a child may lose his or her life because of the mighty dollar. I wish so badly that I had of been more informed of the problems facing our health care system before Olivia was diagnosed. When we were first told Olivia would be going home after her feeding tubed was initially put in we were given the paper work to take to a home health care company to pick up her feeding pump and supplies. They were great to us, they provided us with her pump, IV pole and other supplies, we signed the necessary forms and were on our way. Weeks went by even months, when we learned that the government had agreed to pay only 75% of the cost and that we were responsible for the other $400 or so dollars. I was shocked when I heard this, but not as shocked as when they told me that it is only through the generosity of this company that we were even able to leave the hospital. The government does not care how long it takes them to process an application, they have no suggestions as to what a child is supposed to do for nutrition until the application is approved, if it were not for this company taking on the risk Olivia and many other children would sit in hospitals until all forms were stamped with approval, now when I first heard this I thought to myself, that the company most likely made really good profit on the feeding pumps and/or supplies and it was not just empathy that was pursuading them to help families like mine. I was so wrong. We all know that since 1997 most if not all items have gone up in price. Well apparently the government did not get the memo. The government will not give the companies that supply these products a penny more for them then they did in 1997, almost 10 years without an increase, each pump that companies in Ontario give to those needing it costs the company money. I asked why would they continue to do it, their answer was that in London alone there are over 300 children that require feeding pumps and supplies like Olivia, if they stopped there would be no where in South Western Ontario to get them, I believe he said you would have to look outside of Ontario. I am appalled, and scared, I am scared of the things that you and I don't know about. I am scared for what Olivia may have to deal with in the future. We need to stand up for ourselves and for our families now and for our families in the future. I just have to figure out how to do that.

Thanks alot everyone I hope you are all well

Oct 25th 2006
I hope to see you this weekend at the CAW hall where friends are putting a dance together for Olivia.
Hello everyone!

I wanted to let you all know that today Olivia had an MRI and although we figured we would have to wait until tomorrows appointment to find out the results, we did not, Olivias's doctor called tonight to say that although it is small they can see that the chemo therapy because the tumour has shrunk. Although Olivia is not quite two I am sure she knows that mommy and daddy are more happy tonight. I just wanted to tell you that this may be a small thing to some, it is huge to us. We also want you to know that we appreciate the things that people of done for us. The surprises that await us each week at the hotel amazes us. Suddenly a gift card arrives at the hotel, signed by someone simply from London. We are overwhelmed with how much you all care. Thank you so much who ever you are that keep surprising us. To the people who send us such great words of encouragement, it keeps us going. I have faith that in three months when Olivia has her next MRI we will have more good news. Lets pray that we can get the tumour to a size and place where they can successfuly remove it. Only 14 more months left of chemo.
Thanks Every one

October 20th, 2006
Hello to all of Olivia's friends,

I wish I had a little better news to give you, but perhaps soon. Olivia is currently in Sick Kids in Toronto with an infection some where, she is on antibiotics and I sure will be back to her regular self soon. We started giving Olivia a product called Glyconutrients, I have to admit I was not sure I believed in Natural Products over Modern Medicine, but my husband was adamant, Up until five days ago Olivia was doing very well with not having any kind of reactions to chemo, aside from what we think was a little nausea and increased pain. We ran out of the nutrients six days ago and within two days Olivia was having nausea and tired, crying it just got worse over the last five days. I have to admit that it seems like the nutrients were really helping, so we are hoping the docs will still let us give them to her in the hospital, they had no problems when we were at home giving it to her. This month has been hard on us, VON has not had an easy time finding nurses so we had over 14 nights without a nurse, We are really hoping that they find some ways to attract more nurses to the agency. We love the nurses we have and don't want to go to another company.

A friend of mine was able to acquire some tickets to the bare naked ladies coming to the JLC for a raffle. I hear they are great seats. There will be more information soon.

On October 28th there will be a Halloween dance at the CAW hall to benefit our family, thank you Aunt Norma, I know there are still lots of tickets, I will be there and would love the opportunity to meet you all. you can email me at olivia@cherub.ca if you would like to get tickets, or just to say hi, I really get a lot of strength from your emails.

We tried so hard to do the calendar, but just could not pull it off, we were given the opportunity to make very nice leather journals, they are burgundy in colour and have a very cute picture of Olivia on the front, it is removable and you can insert your initial that comes with the journal. they are $12.00 but sell in the stores for a lot more, we have all ready sold a lot for Christmas gifts, if you are interested send me and email. Holland and I have taken on the job of delivering them so we can meet people.

Last but not least I have a favour to ask, Olivia LOVES Cailou, I am desperately looking for more Cailou DVDs and not having any luck, they do not need to be new, I will buy them used, If anyone knows where we can get a few could you email me.

Thank you everyone we could not do this if it were not for all of you. We feel like we have added a whole lot of people to our family tree.

Kim and Sam
(Holland,Olivia)

September 28/06
We took Olivia to Sick Kids in Toronto for her chemo this week, however they told us she is neutropenic (spelling) this means that her white blood cell count is so low that she would not be able to fight off any infections, viruses etc. If they were to do the chemo this week, it could have nasty effects. This is all new to me, so pardon the lack of medical jargon. So they will try again next week. They have had to increase the meds for seizures, not because of the seizures, but more pain. She still has all her hair and is so happy, I mean really happy, she goes to the hospital each week with a smile, they treat her so great.

I wanted to let everyone know as well, that in November the Shoppers Drug Mart at Huron and Adelaide is having make over day. They had one in the spring that I went to, they redo your make up and have treats to eat and to take home. It is pampering at its best. They charged then I think 6.00$. I am not sure about this time. However they contacted me and said that this one will benefit Olivia. I am hoping that they will let me take Before and after pics for fun. They only have limited spaces, so if you are interested I would give them a shout.

I got up in the middle of the night to write this because today the doctors told us that Olivia’s Tumor is growing again, and it is growing in a very bad place. Three days ago we thought that she was doing so well that they were just going to watch it. Now we are told that chemo therapy will begin within the next two weeks. That another brain surgery could be in the future. So I was lying in bed thinking about things. I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason, but what good reason could there be for a child to suffer? I can’t help but wonder if this is a reminder to me and to everyone who hears of Olivia that bad things happen to innocent people and that we have to never take for granted what we have. There is a song out and I think the title is “Live Like You Were Dying” Even if you and your entire family are healthy, never take it for granted, take that time to read that extra book that your son is asking for, even though you know it is a ploy to stay up another ten minutes. What is one more cookie a half hour before bed? Play tea party! Drinking water from a cup the size of a thimble never hurt anyone. Life goes by so quickly. How many times do you say to your self, “The Mortgage is due again?” Months go by like the minutes after you push snooze on your alarm clock. I look back and can see what I have missed, the times that I have sat at the park looking at my watch thinking “They have five minutes, and then we have to go!” "Like I had something more important then my family to attend to." Most of all don’t let anyone take this away from you. You are MOM and you know best. So if in your heart you feel that something is not right, then you are probably correct, don’t let anyone push you into believing anything other then what your heart is telling you.

Each week for the next year and a half, our family will spend two days of it in Toronto where Olivia will get her chemo therapy and any other treatment that she needs. We have only dealt with Toronto for the past couple of weeks, but we already know that children and their well being is number one. Each doctor that we met made us feel like we were part of the team. Not one doc seemed to have the "I am God!" complex like so many of the doctors we have met in the past. Olivia very seldom lets anybody take her blood pressure etc. The great nurses on the 7th floor a children’s here in London had it down pat by the time she was discharged. However in Toronto she offers her arm with no tears or even whining. She was not too impressed when I had to lay her on the stretcher for them to put her to sleep for her MRI, but even then she just whimpered. It seems like someone has said to the staff at sick kids “If you can’t smile and be nice? Don’t come to work” Makes sense. So now if I could just pick up Olivia’s nurses from the 7th floor here and take them to the 8th floor in Toronto it would be perfect! I doubt that will happen.

Sam and I are so thankful for the help everyone is giving to the calendar. We are just like most people living from pay check to pay check, so the cost of a hotel room two nights a week etc is a lot more then we would be able to handle on our own. I was feeling very weird asking for help, so many parents that have been through similar things have told us to ask friends and family to have fundraisers to help with bills. At the time we could not see why we would need others help. Then after six days in Toronto we quickly realized the now obvious, that Olivia’s health problems are not the only form of stress in our life. SO thank you to the businesses that have asked to sponsor the calendar, and the many people who emailed us with ideas for fundraisers etc.

Sam and I will keep oliviasdream.com up to date as often as we can. You are all welcome to email us for updates and or just to say hi, we get a lot of strength from all of you.

Again thank you for being there, and for caring enough to keep us in your prayers
Kim, Sam, Holland and Olivia

As many of you may have read in the London Free Press On Wednesday, Olivia is again facing a challenge. We were informed last week that Olivia's tumour is growing again. It now looks like it is the size of a quarter. (my estimate from seeing the MRI) We are finding this finding tougher then before. I think we both believed that we could see the light at the end of the tunnel, a future for Olivia. For so long I longed to be a mom, I thought about all that would come with that title. Sure I knew that worry was going to be a part of it, I just never believed that anything like this could happen. I look at Olivia, and she smiles, and she smiles. She can be in such incredible pain and once she has relief from it she is smiling again, life just isn't fair! Of course you ask any parent who child has any kind of challenge and they will say the same.

We noticed about a week or so ago that Olivia was having trouble walking again, she would take a few steps and fall, as well she did not seem to be using her left arm again. But then again she would still have good days. So now we will be taking her to Toronto Sick Kids for chemo every week for the next year and a half, there will be breaks here and there. Some have asked if we can have her chemo here, and yes we could maybe go to a regular Oncologist but I think given the opportunity any parent would want their child to be cared for by a specialist. In Toronto Olivia has a Neuro Oncologist and a Paediatric Neuro Surgeon. There is neither in London . We do have a visiting Neuro Surgeon from Toronto.

Power Flower is putting together a calendar for Olivia, Thank you! It is unfortunate that in addition to Olivia's health we have to worry about how to pay for it. But you have to do what you have to do for your children. I really like the idea for families being able to sponsor a day in the calendar. Some people have made donations to the St. Willibrord credit union Now the LIBRO. Thank you, but I don't have access to who they are. I like the idea that I can know who is helping us, i want to be able to say thank you.

Olivia is now having seizures so she has to be watched more closely, so I must go, thank you again. I hope people will continue to send us emails of encouragement, you have no idea how much this helps us.

We hope every ones families are well.
Thank you
Kim, Sam, Holland and Olivia

Now for the serious stuff. Sam and I are so thank full for all your well wishes, your emails are the highlights of our day, we wish so badly that we could answer each one when we get it, but time and emotions some times get in the way. If you email us, and don;t hear back I encourage you to find it in your heart not to give up. We will get back to you. We are still waiting for word from Toronto sick kids as to when Olivia will be starting chemo. I hate the wait, it is a catch 22 you want to get it over with, but you are scared to death of what is to come. Please keeep sending us your positive thoughts and prayers, you could not know how much we cherish them.

PowerFlower WebDesign is creating an Olivias dream calendar, I am so excited, I am a photographer and so rarely get to practice what I love, and that is taking pics of just about anything. The money raised will be used to pay for more nursing hours, as well as anything else Olivia needs that we are not in a position to get for her.

They are looking for businesses that would be interested in advertising on the calendar, and for anyone that would like to order a calendar. Just send an email to power flower the link is at the top. Thank you again everyone for all your help to our family.

Thank you for being a part of Olivia's future.
Kim, Sam, Holland and Olivia

Sam and I would like to take the opportunity to say thank you to everyone who donated items to the garage sale for Olivia, as well as to those who attended the sale, we have more then enough to purchase the bed for Olivia. As well I wanted to say thank you to Kim Sage who has arranged Olivias dream night. The london majors will be donating half of the ticket sales through Kim to Olivias dream. I don't know what to say other then Thank you, and that Sam and I look forward to meeting people in person that night, Our four year old Holland has been practicing and is hoping to sing the nation anthem. I don't know about that but she sure sounds cute. I will include Kim's email address if anyone is interested.

An update on Olivia. Doctors have told us that chemo on Olivia is the direction they want to take with Olivia, Sam and I feel strongly that we would like a second opinion. So we are not sure but that may mean Toronto for us. Olivia was walking with help this weekend, and is very interested in toys again. The nurses encouraged me to spend a night a way from the hospital to get some sleep,
(three weeks with only a bit of sleep would make even the best of moms a little cranky) I have to admit I thought they would call in the middle of the night asking me to come back, however she slept better I now sleep at Ronald Mc donald house, I can not believe how hard it is to be even that little distance away, but I have to admit she has done very well the past few days with more rest. She did have another lead of spinal fluid and it was fixed in the critical care unit. I have found her a very cute bandana pink (her favorite) it looks so much nicer then the white bandage she has been sporting since surgery. I am nervous, no scared what chemo will do to her, I was so relieved that she still has the front of her hair, I am told she will most likely lose the rest. There are so many families up here, and our hearts go out to them. The things that amaze me with all this is that people are so strong. People ask us how we do it and I think to my self, "what choice do we have" but the parents up here seem to embrace what is going on in thier lives and make the best of it. We are so lucky that there are so many wonderful people in this city and even in other parts of the world that care enough to take the time to contact us. We are overwhelmed with the amount of emails we have recieved, it really gives us strength to know that people care.
Thank You.

Olivia has developed bacterial meningitis she was rushed into emergency surgery today. She is doing well. Doctors are trying to figure out exactly what organism she has pick up so they can treat her properly. She is tired but fighting hard. Please keep praying for her. The Dura the waterproof covering on the brain leaked, the neuro surgeon thinks that the Meningitis is hindering the healing. They are telling us that it will be a very long time before we get to go home.

At 8AM On Tuesday May 30, 2006 Olivia underwent 12 1/2 hours of surgery for the removal of her brain tumour. Although it was a very complicated procedure the surgeons felt it had gone well as they had not encountered any unforeseen problems.

We are delighted to tell you Olivia is now out of the critical care unit. She has so far surpassed all the doctor's best hopes. Olivia is now resting and building her strength for the long road to full recovery. It is too early to know if Olivia has suffered any permanent loss but she has retained the wonderful smile that has won so many hearts.

On November 08, 2004, I finally got to look into the eyes of my precious little girl, Olivia. I had waited so long to see her little face. Things seemed so perfect for a little while; then the crying began.

No matter what I did I could not comfort her. We visited the hospital several times as well as our family doc. We changed her formula multiple times. We had a few months were everything seemed okay; then the crying started again, especially at night. Fifteen to 20 times a night she would awaken in pain, sometimes vomiting. It was so heartbreaking not being able to do anything to comfort her.

Then in the beginning of February, 2006, Olivia awoke screaming and vomiting. Refusing to eat the next day, the doctors in the emergency department decided to admit her overnight for observation. Five weeks later she still had not eaten. Test after test revealed nothing. An endogastric tube was inserted and it is through this tube that she is fed a specialized formula. The pain seemed better; not gone, but better.

Once home we tried to go back to normal, but it was hard for Olivia to be attached to a tube all the time. We were home for almost two months when she started vomiting more and developed a fever; Olivia had the flu. While she was hospitalized for re-hydration, I pushed for more tests to find an exact reason why she was having so many problems. We owe a huge debt of thanks to Dr. J. Howard at Children’s Hospital of Western Ontario who, even though it was outside his specialty of Gastroenterology, ordered a CT scan. This is when our lives stopped. The air was sucked from my lungs when the two doctors explained that the reason behind Olivia’s problems was a brain tumor; possibly there since I was pregnant.
The tumour in the brain stem is pushing on Olivia’s spinal cord. This cord controls everything from her ability to smile to her ability to breath. The doctors have told us that the best option is surgery; sooner rather then later. Unfortunately, due to the state of our health care in Canada, sooner is not an option unless operating room time is found in another city. Olivia is scheduled to have surgery on June 12, 2006; a week beyond the latest the doctors say they can wait.

I can only say that, for me, it is no longer numbers in the newspaper about wait times for knee and hip surgeries, it is about my daughter’s life. I feel bad that it took such a blow to my heart for me to stand up and take note of the condition of our health care system in Canada.

Olivia is a gorgeous little girl with the most brilliant red hair. Doctors told us that she should not be able to walk or even move her arms and legs; yet one of her favourite things to do is to walk pushing her little doll stroller. She has a smile that would melt your heart. She gives the best kisses and most uplifting hugs. Now, when I cry, she leans in to give me a kiss; she knows we are hurting.

Sam and I were lost, we need to find a way to make those responsible for our health care understand that we don't—and won't—accept that the almighty dollar could cost us our little girl.

The chance that Olivia will have to be sent to Toronto to be operated on by an adult-focused neurosurgeon instead of the pediatric neurosurgeon here—one of the top 10 female neurosurgeons in Canada—piles more concern on our plates. We will have to uproot our whole family and live for a time in Toronto; leaving behind all our support systems. Then there are the costs; hotels, meals, etc. on an income that is no longer there while we support our baby.

Sam and I ask that you pick up the phone and call your Member of Provincial Parliament and/or your Member of Parliament. Tell them about Olivia and ask what they are doing to save my baby’s life. Please know that Sam and I appreciate your help in trying to help save our little girl.

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